Rock Band

i played rock band at school today! my band was me on drums, and two of my 5th grade students - omar on guitar, and manny on bass. when i hit "medium" instead of "easy," omar was like, "wait, this song is hard on medium!" and i shrugged and said, "i'll be ok."

our band got 2nd place out of all the groups that played - 1st place was 8th graders.

our band's name is "spider" and we'll let you know when we're in your city.

N95 flu mask

my dad called me in a panic today from LA.. and he insisted i buy a flu mask - of the N95 variety... so, today, i went in an exhausted daze of all day school with no prep, and 4 hours of music and worship practice, to cvs, walgreens, and jewel-osco to find my flu mask. i didn't find any anywhere, so i just ordered a case online.

do you have your mask? i'll be selling them for $50 each. maybe $45 if you're nice.

i shouldn't joke... people are getting really sick from this. =(

field trip!

i took my class to the museum of contemporary art in chicago on friday, and we got there a bit early, so we went to the playground across the street. kids being kids, they went nuts!!!

the whole class organized themselves into a ginormous game of tag... and here are some of the moments i captured.

live simply

so i've been stockpiling. it's not my fault everyone's having these 'recession sales.' i now have lots of extra food wrap, aluminum foil, tampons, bare mineral make up, and frozen food. i think i bought all of this to actually SAVE money... but i'm not sure if that's going to be the result.

i might just end up with a lot more stuff than i need for a very long time. how do i know that? because i still have unused 'stuff' that i bought a long time ago i thought would help me save money.

i envy people who can live with very little material possessions. i don't want to be attached to this world as much as i am. sometimes i like to think i'm cool when i wear clothes from thrift stores, but i also have way more clothes than i need.

as i'm going through a job (and life direction) change, i also want to evaluate how i'm being a good steward of God's blessings to me. i want to give more to missions and to social justice organizations.

it's scary to think that without a job soon, i might be forced to live a more simple lifestyle. and while it's fun to save money when you have enough that you don't have to, it's another thing when you have no choice.

in shaine claiborn's the irresistible revolution, he lives with a group of people that all share what they have... and they ALL live on very little, but manage to meet everyone's needs. i think that's really cool, and way more fun than living by yourself without a real community in your neighborhood.

so maybe you'll see my stuff on amazon.com very soon.

where in the world?

i just came back from a trip to LA for spring break - a definite perk of teaching! and i was reflecting on the differences between LA and chicago... well, there's lots of opportunities for art and music, asian-dominated and asian-friendly areas, the gorgeous sunny weather, beautiful successful people....

and in chicago, we're like the overweight capital of the u.s. - maybe not chicago, but the midwest... and the asians are hidden in the dark corners, it's too cold to go out to enjoy the art and music for 8 months out of the year....

but i still feel like it has to be where God has called someone, for that person to go to that place... whether we feel happier or not there... as my friend was telling me, maybe my being in chicago helps the gospel seem more urgent and real to me than somewhere that i'm really comfortable.

i do miss my family... in every part of the world... and i wish the world was smaller so it would be easier to hang out...

eat.sleep.exercise.

i often feel like my life is one giant coping mechanism. i have quotes everywhere in my room... like

"perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."

"put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else"

and self-help books like 7 habits, learned optimism

and magazines like health and experience.

i got a trainer a few months ago because i wasn't taking care of myself... and recently i've been eating raw foods because i got inspired from watching "crazy, sexy cancer" and identified with the cancer patient and her search for survival, which led her to eating raw. that's a little crazy to me, that i feel like i have a terminal illness. or that i don't have room to be unhealthy.

i often wonder what my life would be like if i wasn't trying to just survive all the time. what activities i would be involved in, who i would choose to spend my time with, how much time i would spend with god.

i've been sleeping about 4-5 hours every day this week, and tonight i crashed and napped. i'm no saint - i don't spend every waking hour doing work. but i know my work hours don't end at the end of the school day and my responsibilities follow me home.

it would be interesting to hear other coping stories.... or how people balance work/home - and still get everything done.

why worship?

thank you for reading and commenting! i really appreciate your thoughts! =)

joe, i'm not sure if the two-headed monsters lived in mesopatamia!

and esther, i remember those long talks - you probably ask the deepest questions of anyone i know! i miss those times...

why worship in general? or why do i want to pursue worship as a more full-time thing?

i suppose i can answer both of those questions at the same time.

growing up in the stereotypical asian home, i learned classical piano and (insert another instrument here _______) in my case, flute. i practiced at least a couple times between lessons, and got to the point where i was competing and felt like it was an important part of my life. then senior year of high school, i had to decide what major with which to apply for college, and music did not make the cut - for me or my parents..... asian fear of instability, perhaps?

then it happens that senior year of high school, i also started helping out with worship, and more leadership in church. i was the worst ever... i never practiced, i never got the team to practice... and our youth leader was SO super-patient with me. but through that, i started to fall in love with Jesus more, because there's something about music that's directed at our Creator that makes it so beautiful.

then in college, i met lots of really passionate worshippers - some were worship leaders, some were just people who really loved God. and i learned even more how to live my life sacrificially in worship. how to have real, crazy faith, and how to pray.

this last story is why i can't do just music. last year, i went on a cruise with my family and met a jazz pianist who inspired me to want to pursue music professionally. he loved what he did and he got to travel the world and meet lots of cool people, and he got to play great music all day. so i went home, and prayed and fasted about this for several weeks. and when God finally answered, he told me to use my musical talent for worship only. for those of you musicians out there, i'm not professional-hating... i'm just saying this is what God wanted for me. i think it's because my heart is easily drawn away and i might not be strong enough to be able to withstand the temptations of the secular music industry.

so right now i love what i do at church - playing for worship and playing all different styles of music, stuff i never thought i could do. and i love that i get to do it with a really cool bunch of people who sharpen and encourage me. and that it's not about being on stage or even playing cool music - it's about pleasing the heart of God.

i can't imagine how this all will materialize - only God knows. but it's keeping me up wondering, for sure, like tonight!

the butterfly blog

so i started this blog because i really want feedback for this time of transition in my life... and hopefully, my journey is somewhat entertaining for people to follow... so please let me know your thoughts, especially advice!

the title for my blog is inspired by my friend hanna, who also described my current journey like turning into a butterfly. i really hope it turns out that way, rather than staying in the cocoon and rotting away.... or turning into a hideous two-headed monster instead. the best thing about butterflies (besides their marked wings that ward off predators) is that they never stay anywhere for long and they can always explore new landscapes and nectars.

and for me, i'm currently transitioning out of teaching and into..... who knows? i really want to be involved in music and ministry.... but i need a job first. what kind of job? i really have no idea! my skills are really random - classroom management + writing lesson plans, classical, jazz, and gospel piano, analyzing deep philosophical texts, scheduling and contacting people in the band.... and my interests are even more random - health, skincare, fashion, music, art, politics, reading, traveling, food.... sounds pretty generic, now that i look at it.

the types of jobs i've considered are real estate (seems a lot of my musician friends do this), working at whole foods, teaching piano, playing for weddings and parties, working at a christian non-profit, and being a band director. i'm a little teached-out right now and i can't see myself working in a school for the near future.

i'm glad i don't have to work immediately after school's out, and the summertime in chicago is lots of fun!